Year of the Boar, Second Month, Day 23.

There really is nothing comparable to a fine crop of opium... my one regret is that the climate of my land cannot sustain such a crop - I am forced to attain it at great cost from a merchant who comes here with wares from the 5th Kingdom... I must admit it has long been my desire to travel there and learn of their secrets, see if there is some way to cultivate the weed here... but as Ruling Lady, my travels are restricted to the Ninth Kingdom... especially since as yet, I have no heir... I cannot imagine how I would survive the boredom of daily life in this castle were it not for the opium... as I breathe it in, feeling the warm smoke fill my lungs, relaxing me... making everything seem fluffy and light... I do not know how I would cope...
It really is mind-numbing; I am supposed to see to the running of the House but honestly, there is little to do... of course, the occasional infidel to deal with but other than that... I tire of embroidery and serving tea and chattering with the ladies of the court... I have used nothing of what I learnt at school, I play the koto to amuse myself but recently I have found even that does not please me the way it once did... In fact, since returning home from the rigid confines of schooling and tuition, I find there are so many more hours in the day than I care for. I have taken to rising at noon, taking breakfast in my room and then visiting my horses for a while.. ah.. my horses... beautiful creatures, but these days even they cannot hold my attention for long... and then to my rooms to enjoy my pipe...
The girls with whom I went to school are with the exception of one, all married. Of course most of them are not of the Ruling class, so finding husbands was much easier for them, nor did they have to do four years of extra tuition at the School of Monarchical Precision as did those of us who *do* belong to the Ruling class... And even were I to have found a mate among my contemporaries, I would not be allowed to marry another who would Rule... Although a few do, managing two Houses from one location would simply be so...difficult... The exception I spoke of being, of course, Silent Thunder's ridiculous progeny, Kaede. I simply cannot understand what Lord Kenta sees in her. Granted, she is pretty... but *I* have always been hailed as beautiful... she is skilled in archery but what man cares for that?! And she clearly has the brain of a small insect for what other reason could there be to make such a stupid mistake as she did. And now His Lordship moons over her, his prized slave and he shall never be able to take her for his wife. If only he would look my way, still while the Kingdom believes the worst of me and my morals, Lord Kenta might kiss and fondle me in order to make his love jealous, but he will not look upon me as a serious prospect. But, oh, I want him. I want *him* and then there is the fact that Silent Thunder would make the perfect ally for Dying Crane and while Kaede was Ruling Lady that was never to happen. We have hated each other since first we met as children. Perhaps I should rephrase, I hated her. For she had everything that I did not, and even though I was without a doubt more beautiful and more accomplished, that brought its own trials. Kaede had a Mother who loved her and who never left her alone in crowded rooms to "entertain" her men friends... I will think on this for perhaps if Lord Kenta were to come to view me with affection, I might really develop a decent ally for Dying Crane... but more of that another time... the weed does its work and I tire....