Year of the Boar, Ninth Month, Day 15.

Nanami's tantrums are becoming a real trial. I do not know why I put up with them - do I or do I not, pay her...? She simply will not mount a horse and insists on walking behind us not matter how far behind she falls. At some point, I am going to have to make a decision about whether I allow her to continue to put me in danger or whether I simply leave her where she chooses to walk. The  woman claiming to be Seira Pale Twilight suggested that Nanami would quickly tire of walking and take to the horse eventually if I left her alone and I was inclined to agree but so far, Nanami's stubbornness rivals only mine...
We are further away from Dying Crane than I would like; by now, we ought to be more than half way there but Nanami's refusal to ride is slowing us down and I am finding it difficult to keep my temper. I will be lucky to get Nanami back to her grandmother if she continues with this behaviour...
The woman has tried to initiate conversation several times but I am still not convinced of her identity and so I have refused to be drawn in. No doubt she thinks me haughty and distant but what care I? It is she who wishes to travel with me so she will have to take me as she finds me. I do not know how I can ever be sure that the woman is who she says she is... Atsuko believes that the woman is Seira; she says that it is impossible to replicate the Pale Twilight insignia since Pale Twilight only allow one seamstress to create their Court silks and that she lives within the castle. In order for this woman to have Court silks, she would either have to be a Pale Twilight or she would have to have stolen them which would be nigh on impossible.
I have given that some thought; there are a number of women who create my Court silks so anyone could buy one if they really wanted to. I wonder if there are women roaming the Kingdom pretending to be me ...In any case, there is a possibility that the woman travelling with me is Seira but I remain uncertain.

Year of the Boar, Ninth Month, Day 12. Postscript.

Our departure has been delayed. Atsuko assured me that we would be ready to leave the inn within the stick but while I was giving one of the messengers instructions to go before us and apprise the House of my imminent return, Nanami burst in and burbled something about speaking to a woman who had just arrived at the inn. She made to leave but I insisted that she stay and repeat what she had said and when she did, it appeared that someone claiming to be Seira of Pale Twilight had demanded to speak with me.
Naturally I told Nanami not to be so ridiculous; that I certainly would not be delaying my departure to have a conversation with someone who was clearly an impostor but Nanami had such a tantrum that in the end, I agreed that I would speak to this woman. I sent the messenger on his way with instructions that he need not kill himself in getting to Dying Crane but that I would prefer he not dally and then I settled, ready to receive the visitor.
I do not remember Seira very well at all. This woman certainly has a slightly regal air about her and she speaks with the accents of the south but so too, do any number of women. In my memories, Seira is a mousy child who refused to play with the rest of us at Talks, preferring instead, to sit in the libraries buried up to her nose in parchment. She was plain and somewhat scrawny looking; overshadowed by her twin, Taiji and her little sister who was pretty and bright. Yes... Aki... but now that I think on it, only Taiji and The Lady Pale Twilight were at the funeral.
The woman who sat before me this morning was tanned and confident. Her hair shone as mine used to and she exuded an inner calm despite the circumstances. She told me that she had left home after her mother had punished her for forging a letter on Pale Twilight's behalf which voted for Shigeru's deposition. She had travelled by sea with some traders and had gone to Dying Crane to stand with me.
It all sounds far too ridiculous to be true but what possible motive could she have for lying to me? She knows too much ... is too well-versed in our customs to have not come from a Ruling family of some sort; despite my misgivings, I have decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and have agreed that she may travel back to Dying Crane with us.
Nanami seems much more relaxed since the woman arrived and I am grateful for that. I have asked Atsuko to ensure that we have another horse and that extra supplies are bought as soon as possible. I intend to depart today whether that means we shall travel in the dark or not.

Year of the Boar, Ninth Month, Day 12.

We must leave the Seventh Kingdom and return to Dying Crane as quickly as we can. It is barely past dawn and I sit here writing, dressed already, having struggled to eat the smallest breakfast of wheat cakes and fruit. As it has been since we arrived here, the food was excellent - the wheat cakes were cooked wonderfully and the fruit was at the perfect point of ripeness but I could not swallow it. I feel terribly sick and although I am afraid to go back to Dying Crane, I know that I must. I cannot remain here.
Nanami and Atsuko have been organising my things. Neither of them were very happy when I woke them before dawn and announced that I wanted to leave but they have really had very little to do between them since we arrived here so it will do them no harm to earn their keep for a while.
I woke from a terrible dream; Shigeru was in my bed, his weight pressing me face down into my pillows. In the dream, I did not realise it was he until he had finished taking his pleasure and he whispered that Dying Crane's tribute had been paid and that order had been restored. It was fragmented; not linear and even before Shigeru had finished speaking, I found myself in the middle of a battlefield dressed in full armour, atop a stallion as black as the dead of night. I knew it to be my father's horse but I did not know why my father had chose another horse instead of Gen.
I charged, following my father into the fray, weilding a sword I could barely lift and as I drew closer to the battle, the sword sank lower and lower into the grass, trailing behind me as I rode until only the hilt was not buried in the earth and suddenly, I was alone.
I stood in another field but there was no ground. There was nothing at all other than an eerie silence and ash which blew around me, swirling as if it were carried on a great wind but I heard nothing and I felt... nothing. My hair was loose and wild as if it had not been brushed for days and I was barefoot. I began walking - in the dream I was walking purposefully, but awake, I cannot say where I was or where it was I thought I was going.
I could not have walked more than ten paces before I found myself dressed in full Court attire, kneeling at a table in a Banquet Hall. I knew myself to be at Dying Crane but I must have conjured up the Hall from a novel because it bore no resemblance to any Banquet Hall in the Ninth Kingdom, The room was made of bricks rather than our traditional wood and there were pictures on the walls but they were made using brushes; not like the woodblock prints with which I adorn my walls. There were no fabric hangings, no floral arrangements and no musicians in the room.
None of the other guests had faces and in the dream, I tried desperately to talk to the two who shared my table but they were not capable of a response. I turned my attention to the food but it turned to overcooked seaweed between my chopsticks and I could not get it into my mouth.
The seaweed dissolved and the figure next to me turned to me and opened a mouth that had not been there a moment before. I strained to hear what it was saying but rather than words, it spewed blood which covered everything. It did not cease and the Hall began to fill and I remained, kneeling passively at the table as if it were perfectly normal to drown in blood; waiting for it to consume me.
And so, I must return to my House and I must go now. Of course I cannot simply leave; there are bills to be paid, supplies must be replenished and we must acquire more horses. I have left it to Nanami to decide the route we take - she seems to be very good at that sort of thing. I want to get to Dying Crane as quickly as possible but I know that there is little point in taking the fastest route if it means we lose our lives in the mountains. I must also consider that riding the horses has made me ill. Nanami hates them and has refused point blank to ride at all. She insists that she will walk behind us. I have told her that she is being completely ridiculous; speed is of the utmost importance but I cannot simply ride off by myself and I cannot meander home and leave Nanami to trail behind us and I cannot leave her here alone.
Whatever else passes between us, I will ensure that Nanami returns safely to her grandmother. That is my duty and if I do not manage to fulfill another duty until the end of my days, I shall fulfill this one.
I can do nothing for the time being but wait. Once the supplies are bought and loaded and our route has been decided, perhaps I will be able to persuade Nanami to ride. Perhaps Atsuko can find some sort of herb which will render Nanami insensible so I can put her on the back of a horse regardless...
There is no point in dwelling on that just yet - I shall go and find out how Atsuko is faring with the preparations for now...