Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 10.

Izumi makes my skin crawl. If only I had even the tiniest crumb of opium, I know it would soothe this constant feeling of dread which writhes in my stomach. I know she wants to take Dying Crane but what I have yet to discover is how she means to explain her own absence to her cronies if she does mean to replace me... Posing as me, wearing my make up and clothes and fashioning her hair after mine might certainly make the court believe she were me but where will she say that she has gone? Or will she not bother... will she simply allow people to come to her and report her own disappearance...? No... that would not work... someone closer to her than I have ever been would surely realise that they were talking to Izumi and not to me... perhaps she will marry herself off and leave Dying Crane before coming back to take my place.. Yes. That is what I would do... I would remove myself from the situation completely and then I would sneak back and do what needed to be done. I would poison me... slowly... making me ill and turning me back into a complete recluse before I killed me and took my place. Oh gods...  she has been poisoning my food... she certainly has the means... and a habit of arriving at tea time... I must see the physician... he will know if I am being poisoned but if he is involved... oh gods... help me... send Broken Rampart back... he will know what to do... I thought I could trust Seira but she has proved that she cannot be trusted either since I asked her to get rid of Izumi and she has done nothing... Gods help me, please...