Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, day 27.

 More nightmares. No beginnings, no endings, just endless blood-soaked episodes of violent intrusion on my sleep. It will not stop. I am afraid to sleep again as I was before. I am frightening the girls and the older maids are starting to look tired and jittery. I have tried to stay awake in an effort to stave off the dreams but it does not work. I do not know how much longer we can stay here, wondering about what might come. I wish I could trust that the Deputy Master at Arms and his men would stop Shigeru in his tracks but I do not believe they understand the full measure of his deviousness. 

At my insistence, Atsuko has had the maids look for a suitable hiding place. They think that the attic is probably the safest option. We will put some food and water up there and leave the ladder down permanently. At the slightest hint of trouble, they are all to run up there and pull the ladder up behind them. They are to leave me. Atsuko does not like it at all and says I should be the one to hide up there. She does not know Shigeru if she thinks that is the solution. He will rampage through the house and cut down anyone in his way if he cannot find me; I know he will. I did not read the final missive which came from his hand but I read the ones before and I know only too well what he is like when he does not get his way. 

I have started to think that perhaps taking Dying Crane was always his long term goal. Once Father died, perhaps Shigeru saw an opportunity to expand his Lands. Perhaps he hoped that Mother would one day wed him but things did not transpire as he wished ... I sound like Seira. She sees plots and deception everywhere she looks. I suppose two things can be true at the same time. In the small hours, I tried to think like her. To conceive of a plan that would simply make Shigeru go away. Could I have him eliminated...? If I did that, would the Kingdom seek to hold me to account or would they consider it a natural consequence of his behaviour and have nothing to say about it...? I do not know but I think I must contemplate this matter very seriously. Hiding from him is not going to solve this problem. He may forget about his plans in time but how long would it be before he returned to his thoughts of vengeance for the non-existent slight I have visited upon him..? This will not end until one of us is dead.