Year of the Boar, Ninth Month, Day 29.

I have been finding a great deal of solace in my koto over the past few days. It has helped to take my mind off other things. It seems strange to me now, that I have neglected it for so long; perhaps if I had continued to play rather than leaving it in a corner to gather dust, I may have recovered much faster. The melancholy twang of the strings eases my anxieties; memories come but they do not stay... Feeling empty does not sound as though it should be remotely comforting but it is.
This morning I found myself playing a gentle sea shanty and a long-forgotten memory of playing on the beach with my father crept into my mind. I could not have been very old at all; father was dead long before I was ten summers old. We were building a castle in the sand. I do not know where mother was or why were even on the beach at all; perhaps the memory was not real but I cannot think that I would dream such a thing. I have not thought of father for a long time. I barely remember him but I wonder how different things would have been had he not taken ill.
Seira has been helping me a great deal. It is as if she has taken over where Itsuki left off without even trying and without the spite.