Year of the Boar, Eleventh Month, Day 14.

I slept into the afternoon, waking only when Atsuko came to let me know the musicians had requested an audience with me. I felt sleepy and reluctant to leave the warmth of my bed but Atsuko told me that I could hardly disrupt their tour of the Kingdom and then refuse to do them the courtesy of a conversation...  I sensed that she would not be moved on the subject so I acquiesced and allowed her to dress me in my Court Silks before going to my office to give the visitors audience. 

When I arrived, two of the maids were placing tea things on a small table on my platform and another was putting the finishing touches to a similar tray on the floor; they stood quickly when they noticed my presence but I gestured to them to continue with whatever they were doing. I settled myself on the large floor cushion and asked one of the girls to help me arrange my Silks around me before the visitors came in. As she was spreading the fabric about my knees, I heard a light knock on the frame of the doors. The maid assisting me scurried to open the doors and I gestured at the others to let them know they could serve the tea. I breathed deeply, steadying myself in anticipation of the troupe but I was surprised when only the biwa player entered... 

Asking my permission to sit, she knelt in front of me and bowed deeply, thanking me for granting an audience. I noted that she had chosen to adopt the fashions of House already; her hair looked almost identical to mine but for the luxurious gold ribbon which held it back and now that I could see her face clean of most cosmetics, I realised that although I had thought her to be a woman of mature years, she could only be a few years older than I am. As she swept her hands across the matting and brought her fingers together in a graceful arc, I also noticed that despite the shortness of her nails, she had managed to laquer them black and somehow create a line of little silver dots across the tips of her index and ring fingernails; it looked exquisite. I felt suddenly self-conscious about my own bitten nails and hid my hands inside my sleeves. 

I cleared my throat softly, forgetting that she had come to ask for something and asked her if she would play for me ... She chuckled in response and told me that she had come to ask me for the same thing. She wanted me to play for her... with her... I had no idea what I had expected from this audience but it was not this... I felt at once flattered and horrified. To think that one of the finest musical talents the Kingdom had seen in several generations had sought me out... but I had no desire to humiliate myself; I have not touched my koto for some weeks and I had little enthusiasm for doing so now... anxiety twisted my stomach and I felt sick... I realised that the biwa player was still talking...

"It would honour me so very deeply if you would... just one song... " 

She tilted her head, waiting on me for an answer and I noticed the expensive grain of the silk she wore; the koi in the pattern seemed to shimmer as if they were actually in water; I wondered who had created it ... and how... She exuded a kind of luxurious confidence and I felt suddenly shabby and embarrassed by my ancient silks... as if she sensed it, she continued, smiling slightly.

"I will fetch my instrument and play for you... perhaps... you could ask someone to bring yours... just in case...?" with another tilt of her head, she rose and left the room.

When she was gone, I realised that my hands were trembling and gestured to one of the maids for some tea. I forced myself to drink it, hoping it would steady my hands and take away the taste of the bile which had risen suddenly. When I held the cup out to be refilled I muttered at the maid that she should send someone for my koto... just in case, I told myself... I would likely not play but ... just in case... 

When she returned, she was carrying the biwa which surprised me somewhat; I had imagined she would have someone to do that for her but perhaps she did not trust anyone with something precious to her... two servants followed her into the room carrying a koto but it was not mine and I did not recognise the servants, either. She spoke before I had a chance...

"It has been a while since I played the koto, MiLady, but the koto player in our troupe wishes to take a holiday... I shall have to take her place for a short while... I... wondered if you would help me brush up a little... once I have played for you... of course..."

I very much doubted that her koto player was taking a holiday and I doubted even more that she was any less competent on the koto but I appreciated the way she sought to set me ease by pretending to need my help and I did, so very much, want to hear her play the biwa again. Somehow the nausea I had been experiencing dissipated a little and I found myself agreeing to help. 

"Would you take some tea before you play...?" I gestured at the small table next to her. "The chef has made some particularly fine sweets today..." The maid closest to her shuffled over to pour a cup, before rotating it and offering it to the biwa player... the biwa player... she has a name... I should use it... Airi... 

She took the cup from the maid and sipped the tea, complimenting the blend before setting it down on the little table and reaching for the biwa. I sat transfixed as she played a folk tune about a fisher boy who loses the girl he loves. It is a well known tune that I have played myself many times but Airi may as well have been playing an entirely different song... It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. Her talent for coaxing such deep emotion from a pick and some silk strings is unearthly; I felt tears prickling at my eyes and my throat closed painfully as she sang of the boy weeping at the river for his lost love... When she finished the song, the final note remained, rippling around the room for what seemed like half a stick, until the string finally stopped vibrating and I could hardly speak to thank her.

So entranced had I been that I had not noticed the servants creep into the room and set my koto down and I had not noticed the maids refreshing the tea trays, nor had I noticed that an entire stick had burnt down and another a quarter of the way down. Had Airi really only played the one song...? She could not have... that particular song is not very long... and yet I had no memory of her playing others... I felt as I had after taking some weed, as if time had no meaning and there was only the void of intoxication; I felt almost content...

Airi smiled at me and raised her eyebrows very slightly, tilting her head in the direction of my koto. I sighed, resigned to the fact that unless I wished to look petulant and inhospitable, I had no choice. There was a time when I would not have cared about appearing petulant or inhospitable but I found that I cared now...  I had the maids help me down from my platform and knelt behind my koto. 

"You will forgive me... it has been some time since I played..." I blurted out the apology as I pulled on finger picks and plucked at the strings one by one to see if they needed tuning. Taking a deep breath, I played the opening notes of the sea shanty I had played most recently; satisfied that the tuning was correct, I began the song again. When I had finished, Airi nodded approvingly.

"Do you know 'The tale of Kogou...? If you do, I should like to sing it..." 

I told her that I did and began to play. As I finished the introduction, Airi started to pluck out a light harmony on her own koto as she sang and I floated away along with the story of a Ruling Lord and his affair with a biwa playing courtesan. Airi smiled when we had finished the piece and I realised that I shared the smile; something I had not done in about as long as I could remember.

"I do not think you need any help from me with that... Hishinuma taught you well..." I had noticed her technique and it was unmistakable. Only Hishinuma could have taught her to hold the strings down as she does... as I do...

She chuckled.

"He did. He used to berate me with your progress...'Lady Yuika Dying Crane can play this! If a child five years younger than you can play it, then so can you!'" she broke into an impersonation of him and despite the pain I felt at thinking of my loss, I laughed at how like him she managed to sound. We laughed together as we reminisced until we were interrupted by Atsuko who had come to tell me that if I wished to bathe before the evening meal, it would need to be now...

I hesitated... I did not want to leave these moments behind... I did not want to leave Airi behind... 

"Perhaps... perhaps our guest would also care to bathe... she might enjoy the privacy of not having to share the House bath house..." I blurted it out as a question, regretting it as soon as the words were out of my mouth, a faint blush of embarrassment creeping up my cheeks. To my surprise, she accepted the invitation and murmured something gracious about being deeply honoured as she followed Atsuko and I from the room. 

We talked more about Hishinuma on the way to the bath house and I learned that Airi hailed from a long line of renowned talent; Hishinuma had taught four generations of her family. They all played the koto as well as other instruments; Airi also plays the flute from time to time although the biwa is her great love.  Like me, she had been devastated to learn of Hishinuma's death although she had been able to attend his funeral and say farewell. 

Somehow, in the time it had taken to walk across the House, Atsuko had managed to organise maids to serve us both and once we were lathered, scrubbed and rinsed, we slid into the embrace of the honeysuckle scented water which they had prepared for us. After a short while, Airi thanked me for the hospitality and said that she ought to get ready for this evening's performance. I felt a strange pang of ... something ... as she pulled herself from the water... I did not want her to go but I also wanted her to play again later so I knew that I must let her leave... I remained in the water for another half stick or so and then I returned to my rooms. 

I will attend the evening meal shortly and I have asked Atsuko to find me something nice to wear... something new... I have told her that I tire of the old-fashioned styles I have been adopting of late and I would like something more modern...