Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 30.

Rani left this morning to continue her tour and my relief is so great that I wept. I am exhausted and I feel so afraid. Rani has taken Nanami's replacement with her; I had little choice once her true allegiance became known to me... I did not mind the girl although she is not Nanami but how would it look to the House, to the rest of the Kingdom, if it were known that I willingly employed a spy for the Sixth...? I would look even weaker than I do now. I would be prey to any petty tyrant who desired a second House... No... I did not have a choice but I do find myself wishing that somehow, I could have avoided letting her go...

I have slept little since my talk with Rani. I cannot allow myself the luxury of believing that Nanami's replacement was the only spy about the House and if I am to have any peace, even a shred, then I must find out who else has allegiances elsewhere... I suppose that there is the possibility that this is just another ploy by the gods to make me suffer but even if it is, I must rid my House of those who would help them. I have been pacing for several sticks considering how I might go about this and short of torture, I do not know how I can be sure whether anyone is telling me the truth and that includes members of my own family. I have not forgotten Izumi's perfidy and I doubt she is alone... 

As if all of this were not enough, I discovered this morning that Seira has had Yuuta thrown in a cell. I cannot say that I am particularly concerned about him but I am furious about the fact that not a single member of my staff saw fit to bring the matter to my attention. Seira, apparently wishes him executed and threatens to leave Dying Crane if I do not acquiesce to her demands. I do not know what to do... I have no particular concerns about Yuuta's demise but perhaps I have lost my appetite for death and pain...  I do not need another ghost to haunt my dreams... 

If only I had even the tiniest crumb of opium to soothe me, perhaps I could think more clearly about things... no... I must try to be honest with myself... I want a pipe so that I do not have to think at all... so that I can sink into the blissful oblivion which only the weed brings me...