Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 26.

How much can change in the course of a few short sticks. Yesterday I felt such despair that I could barely put my brush to parchment and today... today I feel a vague optimism close to what I felt when Broken Rampart was here.  I do still very much wish he would at least send word that he is well but ... but after a long talk with the visiting princess, I feel much better.
I see now that I am not in any of the Hells, Seventh or otherwise; that this is merely part of my journey in life, a trial to be endured until I arrive on the other side of it. The tribulation I have faced has been severe and long-lasting but Rani has made me see that I must control my own destiny or it will never change. She is a remarkable woman; I will not write down what passed between us out of respect for her secrets but I am not alone.
I feel as if as chains forged from the heaviest steel found in the Seven Hells have been binding me to my own misery and tightening as I struggled but somehow, this morning, for the first time in a lifetime, I feel... different... and I feel able to see things as I have not been able to see... I went to the Hall to take a meal this morning and although I did not particularly enjoy the experience, it did not feel as overwhelming as it has recently. I will receive Rani again later today...