Year of the Boar, Seventh Month, Day 11.

I have taken to my brushes and ink again so that I might concentrate on something other than my fear and my need for a pipe. Surprisingly, I slept rather well for several sticks last night and when I woke, Chiyo was feeding Crystal. I felt calm then, the contents of Shigeru's letter momentarily forgotten as I picked at the fish and rice that Chiyo had put by my bedside. I almost enjoyed it until I saw the great pile of papers that the Diplomats had left me while I slept and it was with a sickening jolt that it all came back. Chiyo noticed that I was eyeing the papers and moved to pick them up and hand them to me, asking if I intended to see to them straight away. As she moved them onto my bed, one of them slipped out of the pile and I felt my face turn grey as I noticed the seal. His. Three and a half sticks have burnt since and I cannot bring myself to touch it. Two days since his last and already he sends another... Chiyo's face changed when she caught sight of the seal, too. I do not know how much she knows but she nodded imperceptibly as if acknowledging my fears. I do not know if that was because she understands but cannot act unless I ask it... or... if it was something more sinister and she nodded because she is responsible for the scroll being here... or... perhaps I imagined her reaction... If only I could have a pipe. Just to feel that soothing ribbon of smoke as it snaked down my throat into my lungs, calming... the familiar scent of the weed as it glowed in the bowl of my pipe, heating the clay in my hand and filling me with that ethereal serenity as the opium did its work would make me feel better. Just to forget everything for a short while as I smoked...