Year of the Boar. Twelfth Month, Day 13.

 Atsuko seems somewhat better after sleeping for a few sticks. She says that two nights on horseback was not good for any of us and that all will be well. I hope she is right. Since she does not appear to be at death's door, I allowed myself the luxury of a long bath earlier today and it felt like such a relief, as if some of my anxiety melted away along with the grime of several days. When I lifted my hand from the water, a single petal stuck to my skin and I could not help but think of the last time I was in a proper bath house... I closed my eyes for a while and let my mind dwell on the memory of Airi's lips on mine. 

I still do not know what to think about Airi and what she wants. Perhaps she simply enjoys fleeting encounters and has no desire for anything more. Perhaps, as Atsuko says, she actually likes me. I wish I could rid myself of the idea that she seeks my ruin and that the gods sought to warn me when they whispered her name. I should push her from my mind but I cannot. She comes unbidden at the oddest moments. I hear the echo of her soft laughter at my reaction to her hair on my skin or the sensation of her fingertips when she touched my face; I feel her with me and I want her to stay. Perhaps when this is all over, I can bring her back to Dying Crane and at least talk to her about it...

The temperature has dropped again. I must go and make sure Atsuko is warm enough and that the twins have begun preparing an evening meal. The small contingent of soldiers we have with us keeps watch from the shadows; they must be fed and I should talk with their commander about the strategy for the coming weeks. It is about time I had a say in the plans for my own safety.