Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 12.

I awoke yesterday with my face covered in ink where I had fallen asleep on my writing. I felt bone tired and had no desire to worry about my diary which would keep for another day. Instead, once I had taken a bath and eaten, I stayed by Atsuko's bedside. We had ridden without stopping, taking it turns to doze on horseback. Riko and the twins snivelled and wailed almost all the way but I insisted we continue on.  By the time we arrived, Atsuko had begun coughing again and although she tried to hide it, it was evident that her throat still hurt. 

I am sick with worry. I believed, for a fraction of a stick, that I had reached an understanding with the gods but they taunt me again. I could not sleep while Atsuko sickened again and so once Riko had warmed a bed and the twins had made some food for her, I remained there, begging the gods to intervene once again. Atsuko says I am not to send for a healer. The point of being here is that I hide; fetching a healer would alert people that we are here. So now I am trapped. Again. If I send for help, I risk myself and if I do not, I risk Atsuko. She, who has been more of a mother to me than my own mother ever was... I cannot do it. If she does not feel better in the morning, I will have to send for someone.