Year of the Boar, Seventh Month, Day 30.

I did not sleep well; I spent most of the night lying awake trying to make sense of Izumi's story. Weeks ago, I may have taken it at face value and simply accepted her gesture of friendship but now that my mind is clear, I can see gaping holes in the tale she told me yesterday... I can understand the serving staff having been intimidated by Ituski and her lies but why should a Noble have accepted what she said? Not just any member of the Nobility either, a member of my own family... Why would Izumi not have simply insisted that she be allowed into my rooms if she were concerned about me...? What bothered me more though, was that she said she had known what Shigeru had been doing... How could she possibly have known... and if she had, and if she had really told Mother... why would she not have kept trying to make Mother believe the truth...? These thoughts rolled around in my mind keeping me from sleep until I was so agitated that I threw back my quilts and went to sit on the veranda with Crystal. The moon sat low in the inky sky; the garden looked eerie in the soft, yellow light but strangely, I did not feel afraid. Rather, I felt comforted; as if the moon were somehow protecting me in her closeness. I suppose I must have fallen asleep at some time because that is where Chiyo found me when she came to feed and water the bird.
I took my time bathing and dressing this morning; I felt sluggish and there was a knot in my stomach. I dressed simply in heavy cotton rather than silk, the under layers felt warmer than silk and I was comfortable; until Izumi arrived. I had not expected her to visit quite so soon and the fluttering in my stomach grew more insistent as I watched her kneel on the other side of my tea table. She wore amber silk this morning, with a black crane print and a blue sash. They looked pristine although they did not suit her... I found myself transfixed by the pins in her hair which looked like bizarre, flowery bubbles. I imagine that they are the new fashion but they are hideous... The tea cup barely touched her lips as she sipped and I struggled to act as though nothing ailed me; convinced more with each quarter stick that Izumi was up to no good. Eventually, I managed to ask her how she knew what was happening to me and when she told me, I knew without doubt that she was lying. Why she lied, I have no clue but no doubt Nanami will have some sort of theory.  Izumi looked surprised when I questioned her and said that I had told her myself. She had heard me crying as she walked past the doors to my bedchamber; I did not have an ante-chamber when I was a child and like most of the other bedrooms, the sliding doors opened straight onto a long corridor with a wooden floor.  She had slid open the door and seen me huddled up in my bed, sobbing. When she took me into her lap and asked why I cried, apparently I had told her what "Uncle" Shigeru had done. I have absolutely no recollection of that ever happening... it is not unlikely that I have forgotten such an exchange but I know that Izumi lies because I never cried. Not once. There was no reason for me to cry; while I was still a little girl, I would be given sweets and Shigeru would tell me how pretty I was. Shigeru hated tears in any case; they would have served only to make things much worse for me, I am sure. Izumi's tale of what happened when she approached Mother is even stranger. She told me that when she spoke to Mother of what Shigeru was doing, Mother slapped her face and sent her away, refusing to accept the truth. After that, she had banished Izumi from her inner circle and so Izumi had never tried to broach the subject again, choosing instead to keep it to herself and try to watch over me.
It was very difficult to keep my face straight. Absolutely none of what she says is true and none of it makes any sense at all... Mother might well have slapped Izumi and sent her away if Izumi had told her tale but Mother's jealousy had no bounds. The mere mention that Shigeru was in my bed, however unfounded, would have sent her into a paroxysm of rage and it would have been directed at me. Even if any of that were true - Ituski has not been running my affairs for weeks; if Izumi's concern was genuine, why has she waited until now to try to see me and why the Banquet Hall? Why not simply come to my ante-chamber and ask to see me...? I can only conclude that Izumi has some ulterior motive and I must tread carefully if I am to find out what it is...