Year of the Boar, Eighth Month, Day 13.

We have resumed the journey to Silent Thunder. The palanquin is stifling and the constant swaying is making me feel even sicker. The Diplomats refuse to stop the convoy despite my orders; we will already be later than the other Houses since we are the furthest away, they say. The funeral rites cannot start until all the Houses are present and it would be an insult to make them wait longer but I do not want to go at all. I would far rather stay in my rooms and mourn Lord Kenta in private. It will only be a short while before Atsuko sends a maid in here to plaster my face with make-up so that I arrive at Silent Thunder attired in the proper manner. There is no point. I cannot stop crying. I will ruin the make-up before it is even on my face properly but they will not hear me.
I ache for the draw of my pipe... I cannot stand this... I cannot...